In sickness and in health, the best man stands proudly alongside the groom – beer in hand, a face full of smiles and feet ready to get up and dance. As with any special role in a wedding, there are responsibilities to be had and the title of best man is no exception. Being the groom’s right hand man comes with the important duty of walking with him in the journey towards marriage. When there’s a barrage of details and decision making, enough to drive any couple round the twist, the best man offers his assistance and support. This of course can involve practical tasks that check things off the to-do list. But arguably more important in the role of best man is to help create stress-diffusing experiences. Whether this is simply taking the groom out for drinks or stepping up to the plate when it comes to groomsmen activities, the role of the best man is ultimately to help create simple and enjoyable experiences. Starting with the buck’s night…
Attention to detail
Besides emotional support and the odd cold beer or two, the prime responsibility of any best man is to coordinate the groom’s highly anticipated Bachelor Party. It is his job to gauge exactly what the groom envisions for the night and tailor the event to the groom’s preferences and expectations, especially if it’s something on the more tame and quieter side of the Bachelor Party spectrum. Use some of the most memorable experiences in your friendship as an indication – if he’s the ‘camping type’ who enjoys some time away with his best mates, then potentially hiring out an AirBnb cabin is the way to go. Alternatively, if he’s a party animal who prefers a night out on the town, a great place to start is to think of some of the places he may be particularly fond of or may have mentioned in passing. He’ll be chuffed when he finally gets to check out that trendy bar or nightclub he has been meaning to visit. Carry this attention to detail through to the wedding day and you’ll be fulfilling the most important best man duty of all. Whether it’s noticing the groom’s twisted collar, or picking up on his slightly windswept hair, having an attention to detail will allow the groom to feel as though he has support and a second pair of eyes to relieve some of the pressure – the photos will thank you later.
Spontaneous and supportive
Engagement is a time of preparation and celebration for the groom and those around him. For the best man, it is a time to inject fun and laughter into every experience. This means being equally easygoing and assertive as you lead the other groomsmen into experiences and responsibilities that they’ll enjoy. While the groom wants (and needs) your practical support and advice, he will also want to ensure that you and the other groomsmen have an awesome time. You can make him confident by enjoying the process and seizing every opportunity to help the groom and his party have fun and relax. If this means going for a spontaneous drive or bloke-y trip to a theme park, go for it! Take initiative and be assertive yet receptive of help and support from the other groomsmen. We know that it is often challenging to know how and when to offer your assistance, particularly when it comes to the nitty-gritty of wedding planning. You may wish to offer your help and support with some of the logistical duties, like picking up the wedding cake or the suits for the groomsmen. These are ideal tasks to volunteer for because they are uncomplicated and just need to get done – simple! It’s always a good idea to offer your help and then allow the groom to identify which areas and details need assistance. Or if you are have a particular expertise that might come in handy, you might wish to suggest your help in the initial stages of planning.
A man of few words
Typically the best man will share a few words on the wedding day to shed light on some memories shared with the groom as well as some of his unique personality quirks. This may present as a stressful task for men who don’t enjoy speaking in public or simply have not a clue of where to begin! But all nerves aside, the best man’s speech is one of the most memorable points of the night. It’s a time to embrace the nerves and just have fun with it. Seek advice from ‘best men’ who have journeyed before you and draw from what makes your friendship with the groom truly unique. Share the things that have made you laugh and cry, and remember to honour the bride. It doesn’t have to be lengthy, it just has to be heartfelt.